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Untitledwe are always chasing.
I'm not sure what I'd do if I caught you.
If I could "get on" like you do at 10 when
all I want is to be in bed with
a book in my hands
your head between my legs).
and while I'm being honest with myself
I know you cannot help
it. You are too sharp to be put in a display case,
(the gutter is more your place than middle-class
suburban life ever could be).
you need to dull your senses
and you do so with lines of cocaine and
various other criminal offences that
no matter what
hold a three month jail sentence.
You never thought there'd be real consequences
for that equipment you acquired and
scrapped for cash. What a crippling addiction,
you will have literally smoked yourself into a cell.
You put myself and your parents through
utter hell, just so you can
forget what it feels like to be
alive. You need to lose yourself just so you can survive,
and I know
this is all you'll ever be, and I
can't help but hope you'll change yourself so we can stop being
Losing ControlI've burned my bones
one, now I have nothing to hold me
up, I'm so finite it hurts to breathe
sometimes; but my
feelings ache with interminability
but my love is not endless, unconditional.
I cracked you open, scooped out your
sensability. I buried you beneath my fingernails,
I never take you flowers, but
I've given you ten moons.
I made myself my own deity, learned to love the
hook of my hip, and the way my mouth
clicks like an empty ammunition chamber
whenever I start to speak and then
Paper PlanesI've smoked rings around myself,
your hands tremble, and your
heart beats a tyre-screech rhythm.
struggle to breathe through my
acridity, but I can't feel
anything through your forcefield of
(open-mouth, eyes closed,
hair wrapped around
attached in all the places
your joints bend)
I don't want anything to
spark from this realisation
I know you're empty
and, I know it's not me
you're interested in.
Page breakI still love the ocean.
I am salty and gasping,
every wave is the curve of
every swell is the beat of my heart;
the giddy lungful of air after being suffocated
I cannot let go of the ocean,
I still feel it (you), there's
water in my lungs,
sand in my hair,
my skin is still stinging.
I'm still parched from the salt.
I've found myself
in shop windows, car doors
I have straight legs, straight teeth, straight-
My hair is still dripping.
skip a few years:
I will drown in my sleep
my lungs still carry water, my stomach
still carries water, and my heart
still carries you.
Quick releaseI am
slow-burn, long wick
release, soft vanilla
I am burning, numb
living on oxygen and light from the sun.
My fingers reach for heaven,
licking clouds and wings on stallions, whole
I love, I love.
Your hands feel like oceans
holding me like the arms of a gutter, again.
I am awash in
your palms, every line chokes
my glorious throat. I am
grasping, drowning, gasping for anything
left to keep me-
Empty Glassesevery one of my bones pulls outward.
away, trying to escape.
the places where they join ache,
arthritis has set into my soul, quietly.
it seeped in between the time I spent saying
every word backwards
and the time you whispered
eerB, I evol uoy
Okay, I murmured. Okay.
You used me the way light uses prisms to make rainbows.
I am beautiful,
all straight edges and
not enough curves, just corners and points.
You're all curves and elbows
and promises that I'll stay awake
(I always fall asleep eventually).
I love you higher than the Empire State.
I can feel you in my kneecaps.
You're shaking the life out of me
blinking lights, soft thighs
You swore you'd still love me in the morning.
Life Sans Hand-holdsI can feel it
against me, shattering
beneath my finger tips
I've learned to approach it gingerly.
No more hunger, determination
just foot falls
I cannot believe; follow blindly
Nothing holds any weight
I'm tearing at the seams, every
part of me is splitting; grand scale
cell division. Hold
me upright, I'm slipping
into the dark.
Choking on every grimace I make
in an attempt to feign interest in
the chinky display case of existence.
How to: loveIt's the spacious nature of my ribcage
that sends my stuttering heart beating
to this bass line.
You fill my lung cavities, your
leafy fingers choking me
every sigh is a wisp
You hang heavy on my shadow, your
paper-thin iris, the colour of Redhead shallows.
I unpeel as your pluming breath condenses
in the Winter that shivers around us
I can't help but be astounded by the
feeling of the way your lips curve
into me, the impossibility of
everything you embody.
I love it when you just hold me.
Cinder-block WallsI've felt the weight of oceans bury me
in my sleep;
I'm on my knees for you.
you raised empires between my ribs,
shine (solemnly) at night; blind me
while I try to find my dreams in this
mess of blonde hair and bedsheets.
My lungs trembled as I traced your clavicle.
You were small enough to
make me half-full (optimistic).
I know you can feel my heartbeat.
I only wish that your hips
would wear my palms again
Broken HeartbeatYou seem to break my heart beat into shorter syllables,
like every time I touch you,
It just gets
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ / \ /\ /\ /i r\
________/ \ / \ __/ \ / \ / \ ___/ \ /\ / \ m \ s \ / \ / \_______l i k e__I 'm__g a s p i n g__f o r__a i r_________
I wanted to write you a lovesong.i.
Summer rain has nothing
on the sound of your laugh,
little pinpricks of sunshine
lounging across the cobbled
streets of midnight,
cooled grey eyes, shining
tears of nightlights
glowing like stars in your cheeks;
in darkened archways,
hollow stone walls
reverberating through my skull --
back to earth, loving
taking root under the city floor,
breathing across cool hands
in warmer songs, notes
bundled under my sheets
thoughts that last all night
and drift between the rafters
of my chest
wanting at last;
pure, starry sky and
dawn rolls down the mountainside,
turrets and towers
crinkle-eyed smile batters
falling -- falling --
more delicate than down
softly into the clouds.
one life into another
the moon has sunk
into my soul; I am losing
but the bloodl
She Is PoetryShe speaks to me in sonnets
Sighing her similes
Angrily articulating her alliterations
and ranting her rhymes.
She mumbles her metaphors
Heaving heavily her haikus
Bickering her ballads
at my feeble free verse.
sacrosanct perversionhe is
my paragon of feverish intemperance
my blue-flamed boy nova
the burning of my besotted wits-end and start
the reticence under the gape of endless stars
whose abdomen fell
prey to my scathing eyes and starving claws
whose mien asphyxiated
by my irrepressible thirst
past his past lovers and navel gait
how i pine
for the warmth of his gargantuan laughs
for the coolness of his gaze transfixed
on my lips
blue-fire fervor and inferno
dearest penned don
grant me my sip of the holy grail
i would become a polyglot existence
singing of her myrtle and doves
and my mirabile dictu love
on every known continent
ways I have failedscarling I believe
I knew our stars were faulted
The same way I knew that I couldn't stand them disarrayed
I wove you slowly
into my tendons
and I refuse any dimension that finds us ceasing
just pretend I am a man
and not a knot in your chest
I will pretend that I'm not gasping for breath
you are my barbed catalyst
that I refuse to release
I will proudly dress my wounds in the mirror
knowing that everything will be better than I was
there is no part of me undoctored
no words ungreened
and no fiber untorn
you were never just a prompt
but you were always more than my thin hands could manage
I always knew you would outgrow me
Twilight's Dream Falling,
Twas a dream
You in my sight,
Just your eyes,
Oh, the way
They strip me
Of my soul,
So that it be
My darling -
In the days
You caressed me
Falling for you,
Over you -
But twas just
miles to goi.
i am tired
of having nowhere to go after midnight,
when the skies are cloudiest,
and the streets are darkest.
there's a thirst in me
that desires a map for this twisted path of life;
it's too broken in places
to navigate alone.
goodbyes echo in my head as i step
off the train platform and onto the waiting car,
but i cannot concentrate, for fear
that i have boarded wrong.
so all i can ask
is for you to keep your arms open,
for it's the closest thing to home
that i have ever known.
you set my spine to knotting
with imperfect purl of wax.
clip collarbones to drain them
of their cabernet impacts.
your swishing wakes the levy
and grips teeth of the deceased.
churns salivating testaments
in infinite increase.
the twist of looms in chaos
and cartography dispersed.
fine lines in exit vectors
looping twice about the earth.
a curvature evolving
from unmeasured sect decree
that aggravates the dialect
of treasured lecturing.
a clash of fingerprinting with
a violet wild stare.
the genesis of ending
your litigated seraphim
bow fluid at the knee.
dissolve the body noted
by the crimson lettering.
oh lover suffer sweet with me
and lush make every reap.
we'll monument the dimming light
and lustre tourmaline
DefenselessSink your teeth
Into my soft skin
My neck is bare
Inviting you to dine
On my liquid love
My blood, your desire
Enough to keep you alive
And begging for more
I revel in the thought
Of my red blood cells
Inside of you
When I told you
That you would always
Have a part of me
I meant it
In every sense of the word
Thoughts on: being fuckedThe reality of love is hard. It's heavy, it hits you; and then it picks you up and shakes you. That's the part the stories don't tell. The movies never show the way love grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you awake before you even know you've been sleeping. Love doesn't treat you like you're fragile. I've never felt love in trembles,
you're off the Richter. I feel dizzy when I try to be her, to emulate her unremarkable face, but we both know I can't
stop being extreme.
I'm not made the same, stop bending me into her, I'm sorry I can't
open my legs like she did.
I'm sorry you can't hold my waist in one hand, I'm sorry my hips carry weight,
My body has become an apology.
I had never apologised and meant it.
I wish my mother never taught me that boys hurt you to get your attention.
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