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Untitledwe are always chasing.
I'm not sure what I'd do if I caught you.
If I could "get on" like you do at 10 when
all I want is to be in bed with
a book in my hands
your head between my legs).
and while I'm being honest with myself
I know you cannot help
it. You are too sharp to be put in a display case,
(the gutter is more your place than middle-class
suburban life ever could be).
you need to dull your senses
and you do so with lines of cocaine and
various other criminal offences that
no matter what
hold a three month jail sentence.
You never thought there'd be real consequences
for that equipment you acquired and
scrapped for cash. What a crippling addiction,
you will have literally smoked yourself into a cell.
You put myself and your parents through
utter hell, just so you can
forget what it feels like to be
alive. You need to lose yourself just so you can survive,
and I know
this is all you'll ever be, and I
can't help but hope you'll change yourself so we can stop being
Losing ControlI've burned my bones
one, now I have nothing to hold me
up, I'm so finite it hurts to breathe
sometimes; but my
feelings ache with interminability
but my love is not endless, unconditional.
I cracked you open, scooped out your
sensability. I buried you beneath my fingernails,
I never take you flowers, but
I've given you ten moons.
I made myself my own deity, learned to love the
hook of my hip, and the way my mouth
clicks like an empty ammunition chamber
whenever I start to speak and then
Paper PlanesI've smoked rings around myself,
your hands tremble, and your
heart beats a tyre-screech rhythm.
struggle to breathe through my
acridity, but I can't feel
anything through your forcefield of
(open-mouth, eyes closed,
hair wrapped around
attached in all the places
your joints bend)
I don't want anything to
spark from this realisation
I know you're empty
and, I know it's not me
you're interested in.
Page breakI still love the ocean.
I am salty and gasping,
every wave is the curve of
every swell is the beat of my heart;
the giddy lungful of air after being suffocated
I cannot let go of the ocean,
I still feel it (you), there's
water in my lungs,
sand in my hair,
my skin is still stinging.
I'm still parched from the salt.
I've found myself
in shop windows, car doors
I have straight legs, straight teeth, straight-
My hair is still dripping.
skip a few years:
I will drown in my sleep
my lungs still carry water, my stomach
still carries water, and my heart
still carries you.
Quick releaseI am
slow-burn, long wick
release, soft vanilla
I am burning, numb
living on oxygen and light from the sun.
My fingers reach for heaven,
licking clouds and wings on stallions, whole
I love, I love.
Your hands feel like oceans
holding me like the arms of a gutter, again.
I am awash in
your palms, every line chokes
my glorious throat. I am
grasping, drowning, gasping for anything
left to keep me-
Empty Glassesevery one of my bones pulls outward.
away, trying to escape.
the places where they join ache,
arthritis has set into my soul, quietly.
it seeped in between the time I spent saying
every word backwards
and the time you whispered
eerB, I evol uoy
Okay, I murmured. Okay.
You used me the way light uses prisms to make rainbows.
I am beautiful,
all straight edges and
not enough curves, just corners and points.
You're all curves and elbows
and promises that I'll stay awake
(I always fall asleep eventually).
I love you higher than the Empire State.
I can feel you in my kneecaps.
You're shaking the life out of me
blinking lights, soft thighs
You swore you'd still love me in the morning.
Life Sans Hand-holdsI can feel it
against me, shattering
beneath my finger tips
I've learned to approach it gingerly.
No more hunger, determination
just foot falls
I cannot believe; follow blindly
Nothing holds any weight
I'm tearing at the seams, every
part of me is splitting; grand scale
cell division. Hold
me upright, I'm slipping
into the dark.
Choking on every grimace I make
in an attempt to feign interest in
the chinky display case of existence.
How to: loveIt's the spacious nature of my ribcage
that sends my stuttering heart beating
to this bass line.
You fill my lung cavities, your
leafy fingers choking me
every sigh is a wisp
You hang heavy on my shadow, your
paper-thin iris, the colour of Redhead shallows.
I unpeel as your pluming breath condenses
in the Winter that shivers around us
I can't help but be astounded by the
feeling of the way your lips curve
into me, the impossibility of
everything you embody.
I love it when you just hold me.
Cinder-block WallsI've felt the weight of oceans bury me
in my sleep;
I'm on my knees for you.
you raised empires between my ribs,
shine (solemnly) at night; blind me
while I try to find my dreams in this
mess of blonde hair and bedsheets.
My lungs trembled as I traced your clavicle.
You were small enough to
make me half-full (optimistic).
I know you can feel my heartbeat.
I only wish that your hips
would wear my palms again
You Were Not An Aquarium BoySea-glass became your bones,
brine your blood, and seashells
melded into your skin.
You were not quite an ocean
when you said "This is your sign to love me."
My body was like a building;
tall, cold, almost unbreakable.
I was metallic and sharp,
towering over your waters.
I remember taking your hand in mine,
conch and coral shells scrubbing
my skyscraper wrists, and laughing
about how one day you would
submerge every last bit of me.
Your lips, riddled with argonauts,
found my cheek and I cringed
at the coarseness.
You asked if they bothered me
and I finally told you "I
think I love you."
The Heavenly DanceThe stars fell around us
And settled on our shoulders
As we stared into one another's eyes
And in that moment
We understood eachother
The stars then swirled anew
Creating a magnificent dress for you
And you took my hand
And led the dance
Weaving in and out of time
Like the threads connecting our minds
You told me we could never
And I believe you
It's NotIt's not the lipstick gloss
that makes a kiss
the warm pulse beating through
It's not their size
but the words they whisper,
It's not the color
nor the length
nor the glint
of her hair
that makes her special
it is her smile
in the falling rain
reflecting the joy
of yet another Spring,
It's not the time
she spent getting beautiful
that makes her so
but in fact
it is the hours
she was besides my bed
when I was sick
and in fact
it is the minutes
I could hear her breathe
in my embrace
AND in fact
it is the seconds
I saw her cry
(out of happiness)
Because she's beautiful.
It's not the clothes,
nor the jewellery,
nor the colored nails,
nor the drawn-in brows,
nor the words she says
to other people,
and neither it is
It is her mind
that entertains my poems,
it is her charm
that paints my cheeks
and averts my shy eyes from her
It is her soul,
that I love.
SIRENNeath the woe of Ulysses' blood and toil,
A sea of heavenly-fury once awaken'd
Her gaze clad in honey’d delirium ablaze
Of such beauteous prize, he shall yield;
For her tongue hath seized mortal desire
And lo the Moons’ glory shall weep in vain!
Journey’s of madness sung with promise;
— A rising tempest hurl'd to Hades reign
Oceanic rhythms untwine love forbidden,
Breaking the mists of insatiable dreams
The Sirens call ebbed like darkness falling;
Her lust bleeding into the mythic abyss ..
His anguish bestow'd the folding tides,
Unto their lips would perish in mystery
Deeper jewel'd the haunting of his soul,
Forsaken to the ink of Orpheus' muse.
And ghostly twilight shone low and pale,
O’er the hum of those ethereal seas
Long wherest his heart shall forever sail
— Arthur Crow © 2014
You Are My AngelYou came to me in my dreams
When I was below the surface looking up at the sunlight filtering through water molecules
Your hand took mine
And you let me pull you down to lay beside me, where we looked up at everything floating by together
You came to me in my dreams
When I thought about how not worth it this life was and convinced me of otherwise
Your heart sat down beside mine
And I realized I felt alive.
FiveWhen the wind blows,
It speaks your name to me.
When I stare at the clouds,
I see your smiling face.
I watch the people passing by,
I see them wave and say hello,
And I think of you all the while.
At night I look up towards the milky way,
And I see the glowing stars,
And my eyes meet your gaze.
The grass beneath my feet
Is soft like you are to me.
The sunshine on my head
Is warm like your heart.
Everything I do
Makes me think of you.
In everything I see,
You're looking back at me.
In all that I say and feel,
I know you'll always love me still.
For you are my everything,
And my everything is you.
SixI am weak
And I am cold.
You are strong
And you are warm.
I am incomplete,
But with you
I'm made whole.
I am dirty
And covered in mud.
You are clean
And your heart is pure.
What is my world
If it doesn't include you?
I am harsh
And I am rough.
You are gentle
And you are smooth.
Without your love
I am nothing,
And life has no worth.
I am broken
And I am bent.
You are right
And you are true.
And this is why I'm loving you:
You're the beautiful one
Between us two.
Thoughts on: being fuckedThe reality of love is hard. It's heavy, it hits you; and then it picks you up and shakes you. That's the part the stories don't tell. The movies never show the way love grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you awake before you even know you've been sleeping. Love doesn't treat you like you're fragile. I've never felt love in trembles,
you're off the Richter. I feel dizzy when I try to be her, to emulate her unremarkable face, but we both know I can't
stop being extreme.
I'm not made the same, stop bending me into her, I'm sorry I can't
open my legs like she did.
I'm sorry you can't hold my waist in one hand, I'm sorry my hips carry weight,
My body has become an apology.
I had never apologised and meant it.
I wish my mother never taught me that boys hurt you to get your attention.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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