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Untitledwe are always chasing.
I'm not sure what I'd do if I caught you.
If I could "get on" like you do at 10 when
all I want is to be in bed with
a book in my hands
your head between my legs).
and while I'm being honest with myself
I know you cannot help
it. You are too sharp to be put in a display case,
(the gutter is more your place than middle-class
suburban life ever could be).
you need to dull your senses
and you do so with lines of cocaine and
various other criminal offences that
no matter what
hold a three month jail sentence.
You never thought there'd be real consequences
for that equipment you acquired and
scrapped for cash. What a crippling addiction,
you will have literally smoked yourself into a cell.
You put myself and your parents through
utter hell, just so you can
forget what it feels like to be
alive. You need to lose yourself just so you can survive,
and I know
this is all you'll ever be, and I
can't help but hope you'll change yourself so we can stop being
Losing ControlI've burned my bones
one, now I have nothing to hold me
up, I'm so finite it hurts to breathe
sometimes; but my
feelings ache with interminability
but my love is not endless, unconditional.
I cracked you open, scooped out your
sensability. I buried you beneath my fingernails,
I never take you flowers, but
I've given you ten moons.
I made myself my own deity, learned to love the
hook of my hip, and the way my mouth
clicks like an empty ammunition chamber
whenever I start to speak and then
Paper PlanesI've smoked rings around myself,
your hands tremble, and your
heart beats a tyre-screech rhythm.
struggle to breathe through my
acridity, but I can't feel
anything through your forcefield of
(open-mouth, eyes closed,
hair wrapped around
attached in all the places
your joints bend)
I don't want anything to
spark from this realisation
I know you're empty
and, I know it's not me
you're interested in.
Page breakI still love the ocean.
I am salty and gasping,
every wave is the curve of
every swell is the beat of my heart;
the giddy lungful of air after being suffocated
I cannot let go of the ocean,
I still feel it (you), there's
water in my lungs,
sand in my hair,
my skin is still stinging.
I'm still parched from the salt.
I've found myself
in shop windows, car doors
I have straight legs, straight teeth, straight-
My hair is still dripping.
skip a few years:
I will drown in my sleep
my lungs still carry water, my stomach
still carries water, and my heart
still carries you.
Quick releaseI am
slow-burn, long wick
release, soft vanilla
I am burning, numb
living on oxygen and light from the sun.
My fingers reach for heaven,
licking clouds and wings on stallions, whole
I love, I love.
Your hands feel like oceans
holding me like the arms of a gutter, again.
I am awash in
your palms, every line chokes
my glorious throat. I am
grasping, drowning, gasping for anything
left to keep me-
Empty Glassesevery one of my bones pulls outward.
away, trying to escape.
the places where they join ache,
arthritis has set into my soul, quietly.
it seeped in between the time I spent saying
every word backwards
and the time you whispered
eerB, I evol uoy
Okay, I murmured. Okay.
You used me the way light uses prisms to make rainbows.
I am beautiful,
all straight edges and
not enough curves, just corners and points.
You're all curves and elbows
and promises that I'll stay awake
(I always fall asleep eventually).
I love you higher than the Empire State.
I can feel you in my kneecaps.
You're shaking the life out of me
blinking lights, soft thighs
You swore you'd still love me in the morning.
Life Sans Hand-holdsI can feel it
against me, shattering
beneath my finger tips
I've learned to approach it gingerly.
No more hunger, determination
just foot falls
I cannot believe; follow blindly
Nothing holds any weight
I'm tearing at the seams, every
part of me is splitting; grand scale
cell division. Hold
me upright, I'm slipping
into the dark.
Choking on every grimace I make
in an attempt to feign interest in
the chinky display case of existence.
How to: loveIt's the spacious nature of my ribcage
that sends my stuttering heart beating
to this bass line.
You fill my lung cavities, your
leafy fingers choking me
every sigh is a wisp
You hang heavy on my shadow, your
paper-thin iris, the colour of Redhead shallows.
I unpeel as your pluming breath condenses
in the Winter that shivers around us
I can't help but be astounded by the
feeling of the way your lips curve
into me, the impossibility of
everything you embody.
I love it when you just hold me.
Cinder-block WallsI've felt the weight of oceans bury me
in my sleep;
I'm on my knees for you.
you raised empires between my ribs,
shine (solemnly) at night; blind me
while I try to find my dreams in this
mess of blonde hair and bedsheets.
My lungs trembled as I traced your clavicle.
You were small enough to
make me half-full (optimistic).
I know you can feel my heartbeat.
I only wish that your hips
would wear my palms again
Addicted to Messy Kisses (Visual) I want to sit on the
roof top in your boxers and kiss
you while listening to you telling me about
the stars that made the constellations on my
face. I want to kiss you when you photograph me,
because that's what I want to remember: loving you
endlessly and boundlessly. I want to kiss you when you
are too tired and too drunk, and watch you slobbering all
over me, while I laugh in your breath on my lips. I want to
kiss you in libraries, when you'll blush and tell me to sto
organized chaosHis brain's like
reflecting muted light.
His brain is architecturally sound,
with perfect corners
organized into neat sections,
metal cutting the spectrum
into cautious pieces.
He tells me he's nothing.
He tells me that he's grown up
from the cracks in the sidewalk
like a dandelion,
and he's been waiting his whole life
for someone to come along
and blow his fucking head off.
He tells me he comes from a bad place,
and I nod
when all I want to do is shake him
and remind him
that everything beautiful
must grow up out of the dirt.
I wanted to write you a lovesong.i.
Summer rain has nothing
on the sound of your laugh,
little pinpricks of sunshine
lounging across the cobbled
streets of midnight,
cooled grey eyes, shining
tears of nightlights
glowing like stars in your cheeks;
in darkened archways,
hollow stone walls
reverberating through my skull --
back to earth, loving
taking root under the city floor,
breathing across cool hands
in warmer songs, notes
bundled under my sheets
thoughts that last all night
and drift between the rafters
of my chest
wanting at last;
pure, starry sky and
dawn rolls down the mountainside,
turrets and towers
crinkle-eyed smile batters
falling -- falling --
more delicate than down
softly into the clouds.
one life into another
the moon has sunk
into my soul; I am losing
but the bloodl
BloodlustIn our private heaven
We satisfy our bloodlust
By breaking each other's skin
With a shinny blade
And tasting the crimson flow
The flow of life
A life of lust and love
The love we feel
For each other
A bloody and guilty love
Of voluntary wounds
And beautiful scars
Our reason to live
Our dirty secret
A secret we both carry
With great pleasure
The only way
We can feel happiness
Lover, I will try to forget you.The moon is braiding
her sighs into my hair
as I tell her 'I
dislike the thought
of being perfect.
Even more because
I always tried for him.'
There is turbulence
in these bones as he
ghosts past me and
into the skyline.
Perhaps it is time
I stop following.
Two LilliesI found my soul,
in a white lily atop a hill,
a red wine sunset
splashed against the sky.
My heart felt her before
I could see,
the flower strongly rooted
petals blowing with a battle cry
against the wind.
The gusts overtime,
testing and strengthening
the precious growth
roots sewn deep.
I sat beside,
your petals open wide
nothing left to hide,
shades of white
despite the soil you came from.
Yet alone you sit
a secret scent,
for me to enjoy
as I read a book,
and talk to you about everything and nothing.
Late into the night.
dew like tear drops,
and I couldn't take you home with me
but I would return again,
Until the day I join you.
How the waves tasted your anklesSince you are the only sailor
of the sea that my moon-
child eyes so easily bleed,
I crumble to shoreline pieces
every time I press my lips
to half-neglected sea glass,
haunted by visions of the way
you rolled cherries on your tongue.
StarsYou fill me up with bubbles,
dreams and futures floating for me.
Using a line of chalk to draw my life plans on me,
outlining where we can go together.
Stars scribbled across my forehead,
highway across my belly.
Breathing in the cars, making a map of our love.
Peaches and CreamPour me a palette of autumn peach,
blend it in the basin of almond milk,
and let it fuse into my cheeks.
Stir memories of a rustic kiss,
a solemn wooden swing.
A gush of wind and its retreat.
An ounce of rain above my brow.
The sentiment of you and me –
the eyes of burning bronze.
An instant left to cling...
...the original blush
of peaches and cream.
Thoughts on: being fuckedThe reality of love is hard. It's heavy, it hits you; and then it picks you up and shakes you. That's the part the stories don't tell. The movies never show the way love grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you awake before you even know you've been sleeping. Love doesn't treat you like you're fragile. I've never felt love in trembles,
you're off the Richter. I feel dizzy when I try to be her, to emulate her unremarkable face, but we both know I can't
stop being extreme.
I'm not made the same, stop bending me into her, I'm sorry I can't
open my legs like she did.
I'm sorry you can't hold my waist in one hand, I'm sorry my hips carry weight,
My body has become an apology.
I had never apologised and meant it.
I wish my mother never taught me that boys hurt you to get your attention.
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More